Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
