whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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