Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
