You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
