i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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