I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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