haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize