And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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