I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
