Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
