you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
operation harelip BJ is a go
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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