Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
