I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
