i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize