your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I skipped work to stalk him.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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