i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize