So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
