new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
