I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
