Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize