Pappa wants mamma naked
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
