i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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