your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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