Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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