I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
