I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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