Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
you win again, gameday.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
