I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
foreskin is a definite game changer
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
