i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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