so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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