she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
he was CRYING into my vagina
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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