omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
babies were throwing up all over the place
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I'm both gender and math confused
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
