Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
