he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
