This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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