He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize