dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
