there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
