she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
