We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
