How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
nutella sex= disaster
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
