Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize