just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
