I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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