New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
