What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
