If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
