It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
No...this little piggys going to the bar
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
