I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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