Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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