what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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