Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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