taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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