I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize