He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
