6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
worst night to have a conscience
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
