yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
