Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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