I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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