Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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