do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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