Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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