I hate your face
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize