Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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