good thing vaginas are great cup holders
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
