Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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