after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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