Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize