weddingsv make me drug and hornr
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
