I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize