Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
