I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize