i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
