I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
