Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
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