ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Randomize