I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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