party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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