just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
