I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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